No Tell Motel

Added weight 

A paint brush

With ink

And a lens

Your sacred geometric patterns couldn’t stop my broken pieces 

turning into gold

Even when I’m drifting out of sleep the first thoughts on my mind are your words

A fire 

A glacier

A million miles away 

But still 

The burning sun

I would like to blame you

For my blood

In a dirty motel and a needle right to the heart

Pretending to be my mother

For my blood 

Call after call leaving a verbal suicide note 

a plea for forgiveness

For my blood

At a loss 

Because the desert was supposed to be a safe haven 

But Tucson was always a little dirty

I would like to blame you

Because I did not flee 

Or spread my ashes 

Painted gold 

Through the mountains, the Sonoran 

I didn’t peel my eyes blue

I would like to blame you

I would 

but it was never you